Reflective Analysis Rough Draft

At the beginning of the course, we were asked to consider the definition of creative nonfiction. We were asked that several times, actually, to the extent that the question became almost dreaded. At the time, it seemed like almost anything could be creative nonfiction; however, now I realize that the generalization is not quite correct. I believe I was not making enough of a distinction between subject and style. After reading many examples of the genre, what I would now say is that creative nonfiction is an attempt to understand a particular subject, which can be an event, person, idea, or almost anything really, by examining it and relating to it through personal experience and objective observation. The question of whether or not something is creative nonfiction becomes one of technique.
When this class first met, there would have been almost no way I could have written anything that I thought was creative nonfiction. I am still not entirely convinced, though I believe I have made several strides toward that goal. The body of writing that was required for this course was daunting. We wrote journal entries from prompts in most of the classes for the first two months, which was surprisingly difficult for me. I never felt that I was producing anything worthy of being read aloud, whereas my classmates’ journal entries seemed to be much deeper and more evocative of whatever the prompt called for. I wondered if I was able to make it in this course, if I were able to be honest enough with myself.
To get over this, I decided that wading in slowly was not the answer. My first essay, on my problems with anger, mined my darkest thoughts and laid them out for people to see. Once I dove in, the remaining essays became much easier. My second and third essays were, I thought, much better examples of the requested type of writing. I am particularly proud of the third essay, even though I know it needs an actual conclusion and ending. While I struggled with the fourth essay, I still feel that I have a better understanding of how to go about constructing a creative nonfiction essay. The revision process has been something of a challenge. I think my main challenge is trying to disassociate myself from what are very personal topics. It is almost contradictory, or perhaps counter-intuitive, to look at these types of essays so objectively that I can analyze them. I feel that I need to read more examples of creative nonfiction, to understand better the literary techniques and include them in my own work. Such critical analysis of others’ examples will likely help me in revising my own work as well.
The blog was another struggle for me. Just as I was uncomfortable sharing work in class, so too am I uncomfortable with posting anything on the web, especially as there was no way I could limit access. Posting that first essay, on anger, on a blog that theoretically anyone could view was a giant leap for me. I still have some reservations about posting on a blog. I wonder whether there may be legal issues with trying to publish something in print that I previously published on a blog. Still, now that I have grown in confidence I feel better about the blog, and I may continue it or create a new one once the class is over.
I think the main benefit of this course has been to increase my confidence in my abilities as a writer, which have been long underused. Most of the issues that I had at the beginning of the course trace back to confidence. I hope, by the end of the course (which is fast approaching) to read something in front of the class.